44 year old woman online dating sucess story

Functional age in online dating

Online Dating: Is Age an Issue?,About the Author

 · But despite this, the prevalence of older age groups using online dating is much lower than for younger people. According to Pew Internet Research in , this was 12% in AdCompare Top 10 Online Dating Sites - Try the Best Dating Sites Today!This can also be handy if youre very busy and dont have time to navigate between Service catalog: Dating Wizard, Personalising Your Result, Safe & Secure Profiles AdReal Singles. No Games No Gimmicks! Meaningful Relationships Start Here. Find 40+ Singles. Everyone Know Someone Who's Met Online. Start Now and Browse for Free AdCompare & Try The Best Online Dating Sites To Find Love In - Join Today! Online Dating Has Already Changed The Lives of Millions of People. Join TodayZoosk - From $/month · Elite - From $/month · Silver - From $/month AdExplore Our 5 Best Dating Sites of & You Could Find Love. Create A Profile Today! Don't Wait on Love - Your Match Could Be Waiting. It's Not Too Late! ... read more

There are fundamentally two different ways of indicating age; nominal age and functional age. Your nominal age is the number that tells us how many years have passed since the day you were born, i. how many times planet Earth has circled the Sun since that day. What says more about you is what we may call your functional age. Your functional age reflects how healthy you are, how full of energy you are, how you go about daily life with all that this involves — basically, how old you appear to be, based on your functioning.

In other words, your functional age indicates how old you look, act, and feel — to others. The difference between nominal age and functional age can be quite astounding sometimes.

In my line of work I meet new clients every week. It is part of the procedure that they fill out a form where one of the items is their date of birth. I can have a fifty year old in the first half of the day and another fifty year old in the second half of the day, and you would never ever believe that they are the same age. One of them can appear, in every way , to be twenty years older than the other. Some people simply grow old quicker than others. They start winding down and get ready for the retirement home, while others of the same nominal age are powering on as if their adult life has just begun.

Think about it. When we are toddlers, the difference between one compared to the other can span, perhaps, a year either way. Some 3 year olds may seem to be 2 years old, others 4 years old. Once we are teenagers, the span may be a couple of years; some 15 year olds could be taken for a 13 year old, others for a 17 year old. And as we enter adult age, the span widens further. Someone who appears to be 30 years old may be anywhere between 25 and And once people reach, say, 45, the span goes ten years in each direction; they can appear to be ten years younger or ten years older.

In my observation, there is a point where the nominal age number stops providing any useful information at all, in regards to how old someone is, functionally. My mother would be a good example of this. My mother happens to be one of these people whose functional age is well below her nominal age. She passes for 75, and lives her life accordingly; her life is full of energy and activities. Ageing is certainly a mystery. If you have come to your mid-life, you may be aware of ageing, and yet find it difficult to relate to your nominal age number.

In a way, it is like we still are the same we always were, but not. When you are a child, you may have the expectation that one day something will happen and you will begin to feel like an adult. But that never happens, does it? Similarly, when you are a young adult supposedly , you may look at mid-life adults and think that one day you will begin to feel like a mid-life adult.

At least not in the way we once expected it to happen. Because we are not aware of feeling older, most people also have a tendency to believe they appear younger than they actually do. Again, looking at online dating sites, so many people — men and women — are looking for a partner that is much younger than they are themselves.

As if that would be the best match for both parties! Not just in regards to looks, but across the whole range of how we are — our functional age. So you have to emphasise that you want their honest reply. Or, if you are able to set it up, let people answer that question anonymously. This should give you a pretty good idea of your functional age, as seen by others — friends, acquaintances, and semi-strangers. It was an interesting exercise. Not one single person — whether they knew me well or not — actually set my functional age as equal to my nominal age.

Far from it. On average, people set my functional age as several years lower than my nominal age. Secondly, the researchers found age to be negatively related to satisfaction with face-to-face methods of meeting people, suggesting that as people age they become less satisfied with meeting people in person.

Age was also negatively related to the number of offline methods people used to meet potential dates, again suggesting that as they get older people employ fewer face-to-face methods as a means for meeting. Furthermore, older people in this study were less likely than younger ones to say that they had met potential dates in clubs, bars or even via friends, but were more likely to say that they used newspaper ads in their dating endeavors.

All of this is explained by the fact that older individuals find it more difficult to meet people through conventional means and therefore use online dating and personal ads in order to increase the number of chances they have of finding a date.

The findings from this study reveal that overall, general involvement and satisfaction with online dating increases with age. But despite this, the prevalence of older age groups using online dating is much lower than for younger people.

Therefore it seems that older individuals who use it tend to be satisfied, but utilize it less. It is entirely likely that older adults may be more likely to be divorced , separated or widowed than those who are younger, and this being the case, they may be likely to be more selective in who they choose as a romantic partner, perhaps because of adverse previous experiences.

Where online dating is useful at an older age, is that it gives people the chance to eliminate those to whom they are not attracted early on, before meeting up.

Follow me on Twitter martingraff Alterovitz, S. Relationship goals of middle-aged, young-old, and old-old internet daters: An analysis of online personal ads. Journal of Aging Studies, 27 2 , Carstensen, L.

Nebraska Symposium on Motivation. Stephure, R. Martin Graff, Ph. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are. Martin Graff Ph. Love, Digitally. Online Dating: Is Age an Issue? How older people use online dating Posted April 3, Share.

References Alterovitz, S. About the Author. Online: My Website , Twitter. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist.

Anyone who has at some point explored online dating will be familiar with the particular version of ageism that exists on these sites. All presumably online dating sites have in common that age is a prominent feature of member profiles.

And, typically, people who visit these sites in order to actively search for a new partner — or just a new date — are expected to use age as one of the top criteria for selecting who they check out as a potential match. Inadvertently, this results in an implicit form of ageism that oftentimes serves neither the ones searching nor the ones hoping to be found. There are fundamentally two different ways of indicating age; nominal age and functional age. Your nominal age is the number that tells us how many years have passed since the day you were born, i.

how many times planet Earth has circled the Sun since that day. What says more about you is what we may call your functional age. Your functional age reflects how healthy you are, how full of energy you are, how you go about daily life with all that this involves — basically, how old you appear to be, based on your functioning. In other words, your functional age indicates how old you look, act, and feel — to others. The difference between nominal age and functional age can be quite astounding sometimes.

In my line of work I meet new clients every week. It is part of the procedure that they fill out a form where one of the items is their date of birth. I can have a fifty year old in the first half of the day and another fifty year old in the second half of the day, and you would never ever believe that they are the same age. One of them can appear, in every way , to be twenty years older than the other.

Some people simply grow old quicker than others. They start winding down and get ready for the retirement home, while others of the same nominal age are powering on as if their adult life has just begun. Think about it. When we are toddlers, the difference between one compared to the other can span, perhaps, a year either way. Some 3 year olds may seem to be 2 years old, others 4 years old.

Once we are teenagers, the span may be a couple of years; some 15 year olds could be taken for a 13 year old, others for a 17 year old. And as we enter adult age, the span widens further. Someone who appears to be 30 years old may be anywhere between 25 and And once people reach, say, 45, the span goes ten years in each direction; they can appear to be ten years younger or ten years older.

In my observation, there is a point where the nominal age number stops providing any useful information at all, in regards to how old someone is, functionally. My mother would be a good example of this. My mother happens to be one of these people whose functional age is well below her nominal age.

She passes for 75, and lives her life accordingly; her life is full of energy and activities. Ageing is certainly a mystery. If you have come to your mid-life, you may be aware of ageing, and yet find it difficult to relate to your nominal age number. In a way, it is like we still are the same we always were, but not.

When you are a child, you may have the expectation that one day something will happen and you will begin to feel like an adult. But that never happens, does it? Similarly, when you are a young adult supposedly , you may look at mid-life adults and think that one day you will begin to feel like a mid-life adult.

At least not in the way we once expected it to happen. Because we are not aware of feeling older, most people also have a tendency to believe they appear younger than they actually do. Again, looking at online dating sites, so many people — men and women — are looking for a partner that is much younger than they are themselves. As if that would be the best match for both parties! Not just in regards to looks, but across the whole range of how we are — our functional age.

So you have to emphasise that you want their honest reply. Or, if you are able to set it up, let people answer that question anonymously. This should give you a pretty good idea of your functional age, as seen by others — friends, acquaintances, and semi-strangers.

It was an interesting exercise. Not one single person — whether they knew me well or not — actually set my functional age as equal to my nominal age. Far from it. On average, people set my functional age as several years lower than my nominal age. That would simply be silly. Sure, we can look after ourselves, eat healthy, sleep well, exercise, and what have you.

But when it comes down to it, I believe, the main factor is most likely our genetic disposition. In modern society it is generally considered unfair — and, I believe, in some situations illegal — to exclude someone from certain positions simply based on their nominal age.

That would be ageism. This obviously does not apply in situations where you must meet a certain age requirement to be eligible, like drivers licensing or drinking age. There are some people who still lack the maturity to safely drive vehicles or drink alcohol, even though they have reached the required age. As there are some who are mature enough long before they reach that age. To exclude someone simply based on their nominal age would be ageism.

It is their functional age, in regards to the requirements of the job, that matters. And while an online dating profile is not formally a job application, there are definitely similarities; we are looking for the right person for the position, based on their ability to meet the functional requirements, not based on their nominal age.

So, when it comes to online dating, I am of the opinion that the whole emphasis on age numbers is a mistake. Or more importantly, perhaps, who they are going to miss out on meeting.

I mean, if you are hoping to meet someone who is 50 years old, functionally, then you are not likely to include 65 year olds in your search range, are you? After all, you are not looking for someone who is 65, functionally. Still, the person you are looking for may be one of those people who you would never take for anything but a 50 year old, if you happened to meet them, regardless of how much you scrutinised their way of life.

But you will never meet them, at least not via your online dating site, because you have excluded them from your search range! Of course, the opposite also applies. You perform a search, looking for someone who is 50, functionally, and end up with profiles of people who happen to be of that nominal age, but go about life as if they were While I could provide a detailed description of what that may mean, I choose not to do so, since I am biased in that I am definitely over 50 myself nominally as well as functionally , and would prefer not to offend anyone who is functionally 35….

Here is what I would like to see on online dating sites. Nevertheless, the option could be introduced for people to use, and perhaps if the awareness increases around the difference between nominal and functional age, it gradually become useful. Until the online dating sites realise their mistake, however, my suggestion to you, if you register on an online dating site, is to use your functional age as assessed by other people instead of your nominal age number.

And then, in all honesty , declare in your profile that this is what you have done. At least then you are more likely to be included in searches where you belong, and will have a reasonable chance of meeting someone who is looking for someone just like you. If you like this idea, feel free to add a link to this article in your online dating profile, if your online dating site allows links.

Authentic Living! Click here to read more before you subscribe to Authentic Living! We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Accept Decline. Nominal age vs. Functional age There are fundamentally two different ways of indicating age; nominal age and functional age.

Lifetime variations Think about it. Age self-perception Ageing is certainly a mystery. Ageism in society In modern society it is generally considered unfair — and, I believe, in some situations illegal — to exclude someone from certain positions simply based on their nominal age. Online dating ageism So, when it comes to online dating, I am of the opinion that the whole emphasis on age numbers is a mistake.

While I could provide a detailed description of what that may mean, I choose not to do so, since I am biased in that I am definitely over 50 myself nominally as well as functionally , and would prefer not to offend anyone who is functionally 35… Online dating age suggestions Here is what I would like to see on online dating sites.

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Functional age in Online dating,Nominal age vs. Functional age

AdExplore Our 5 Best Dating Sites of & You Could Find Love. Create A Profile Today! Don't Wait on Love - Your Match Could Be Waiting. It's Not Too Late! AdCompare & Try The Best Online Dating Sites To Find Love In - Join Today! Online Dating Has Already Changed The Lives of Millions of People. Join TodayZoosk - From $/month · Elite - From $/month · Silver - From $/month AdCompare Top 10 Online Dating Sites - Try the Best Dating Sites Today!This can also be handy if youre very busy and dont have time to navigate between Service catalog: Dating Wizard, Personalising Your Result, Safe & Secure Profiles  · But despite this, the prevalence of older age groups using online dating is much lower than for younger people. According to Pew Internet Research in , this was 12% in AdReal Singles. No Games No Gimmicks! Meaningful Relationships Start Here. Find 40+ Singles. Everyone Know Someone Who's Met Online. Start Now and Browse for Free ... read more

After all, you are not looking for someone who is 65, functionally. In modern society it is generally considered unfair — and, I believe, in some situations illegal — to exclude someone from certain positions simply based on their nominal age. It is part of the procedure that they fill out a form where one of the items is their date of birth. How older people use online dating Posted April 3, Share. Talk to Someone Find a Therapist Find a Treatment Center Find a Psychiatrist Find a Support Group Find Teletherapy.

Are functional age in online dating less inclined to use online dating as they get older? Accept Decline. Anyone who has at some point explored online dating will be familiar with the particular version of ageism that exists on these sites. View Help Index. It is part of the procedure that they fill out a form where one of the items is their date of birth.

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